Setting Fire to Our Insides for Fun
by Bonsaiscribbler
Summary: How Todoroki Touya became the villain known as Dabi.


Nothing has been the same since their mother was taken away, and yet nothing had changed. Their father still didn't acknowledge them, acting like they didn't exist, and focused on his precious legacy. Nevermind that his children had just lost their mother, and that his youngest had been scarred by his own mother, and was very much traumatized like the rest of them.

No, he was probably worse off. At least they didn't exist in their father's mind, but their little brother was the center of his attention. Every single action was scrutinized, judged, and then punished. It seemed that no matter what their brother did, their father would find a flaw and punish his son. At this point he no longer believed that his little brother was so much as making mistakes, as their father spoiling for a fight and taking out his anger on his youngest.

If he'd been stronger, it could have been him instead of Shouto. If Fuyumi had been stronger, it would have been her. Or if Natsuo had been stronger, it would have been him. If their father had been a reasonable and sane man, he wouldn't have forced his toddler to train before he even came into his quirk. If their father had been kind his children would have adored him, and would have worshiped their amazing, No.2 hero father. If their mother hadn't been abused they might have had a happy life, grown up to be strong, maybe become heroes in their own rights.

If. Always if. If only, if only, if only.

Wishful thinking wasn't going to get them anywhere, Touya knew as much, but his siblings refused to accept that. Fuyumi still acted like Mother was going to come back soon, fluttering around the house and taking over her role in the meantime. Natsuo kept himself locked in his room, studying, wearing headphones and blasting music so loud, that it was a wonder he hadn't gone deaf. There had been a time when Natsuo wanted to help their youngest brother, had tried to reason with their father after hearing Shouto cry every day, but then Mother happened, and Father had taken Natsuo aside. Natsuo never spoke about what happened, but stopped trying to help Shouto and drowned out his cries with music. Sometimes, it felt like a small miracle that they were still alive, that the guilt hadn't eaten them alive yet.

Despite all the abuse, Shouto seemed excited and happy every time he got to see his siblings, even if it was just for a few moments. Touya always tried to make the best of it, to take care of his brother while he could. If he was bruised, Touya would do his best to fix his wounds. If he was upset Touya would do his best to cheer him up. If their father was nearby Touya would try his best to distract him. It never worked for longer. Not with their father's presence looming over the house like a sword waiting to fall, and destroy them all.

In the end, there's nothing they can do against their father. Nothing they can do to stop him. Nothing they can do to keep him from hurting their little brother.

Until Touya burnt down their shed on accident.

His fire had always been a double-edged sword, burning too hot and too fast for Touya to handle, quickly going out of control. When their father had found out that his son had a fire quirk, he'd been excited, but when he saw how hot it burned and how little control Touya managed to maintain, he'd been disappointed. He had tried to teach him, but Touya never managed to live up to his standards, and when Shouto had been born, he'd been discarded.

Burning down the shed had gotten their father's attention again. It had been an accident, Touya insisted, he hadn't meant to burn it, he'd just been trying to light the old oil lamp. That had only made things worse. The fact that his son couldn't even light a single lamp without burning down a building, made their father so angry that he decided that his older son needed special training. Even though he called it training, his children knew that it was punishment, and nothing else.

In the basement was an old freezer, still working, but empty. Touya didn't know why their father had brought him here, or why Shouto was following them, pulling on his father's legs to pull him away from Touya. He watched as his little brother begged his father to forgive him, and not to be mad at Touya, and please please please. It made him sick in his stomach. His little brother, the one he barely got to meet, was begging for mercy. Not for himself, but for Touya.

And Touya... Touya understood why when their father opened the freezer. He saw the scratch marks on the inside, saw the locks on the outside. He understood, and he was terrified.

With one swift motion their father had grabbed him, and thrown him in the freezer. As he shut the lid, he'd told Touya to use his fire or live with the consequences. Then, the locks creaked in protest, as their father turned the key, sealing him in the freezer. For a moment he sat there, completely and utterly still, not quite comprehending what had just happened. Outside he could hear the muffled voices of his father and brother, followed by a loud smacking sound, before the noise ceased altogether.

It was cold. So very cold.

He tried to summon his fire, cupping his hands and concentrating. A flame shot out, lighting the freezer, but within seconds it vanished again. So he tried again, and another blue flame appeared, steadier this time, but not lasting long either. He kept trying, over and over and over again, until he finally managed to keep a steady flame in his hand. It wasn't enough to keep him warm, but he'd done as their father had demanded. He tried knocking against the lid, hoping that their father was nearby. He'd done it, he had, so he got to get out of the freezer.

But no one came.

He tried not to panic. Instead he focused on making the flame grow bigger, and keep it steady. His legs were going numb, so he willed his quirk to warm them up. Instead he set his feet on fire, and it hurt. At that time he hadn't realized that he'd lost track of time, and that almost an hour had passed, that his feet were already freezing, and that trying to warm them up would only hurt.

Panic set in. He started trashing around the freezer, trying to use his fire to get out. But he was so cold, and his body was going numb. He didn't want to die here. He didn't. Not like this.

Finally, his flame grew so hot that it singed the lid, melted it entirely, letting him crawl out and collapse in front of the freezer.

He didn't know how long he'd been there, when the door opened and Shouto came running in. In his hands he was clutching the key to the freezer, holding onto it like it was the most precious thing in the world. When he saw Touya he stopped short, and sank on his knees next to him. With shaking hands Shouto reached out to Touya, and gasped when he saw the horrible frostbite all over his body.

Mumbling apologies over and over again, his little brother tried to help Touya up, but when he realized that moving only caused Touya more pain, he told his brother to hang in there and went to get their sister.

While he was gone their father entered the basement, watching Touya lay shaking and injured in front of the freezer.

"Pathetic." With that single word, he left.

No, Touya though, I did it. You don't get to judge me. You don't.

Their father didn't care. Didn't acknowledge what he'd done. Left his son to handle himself.

Outside he could hear their father bumping into Shouto. Berating him for being late. Telling him that if he'd been faster, if he'd been better, he would have been able to take the key from him, and help Touya. Instead he'd failed his brother. Everything was his fault.

Iit's not true, it's not, it's not. Touya wanted to scream. That sick old man was turning everything on his head again, blaming Shouto again, making everything about his failure. It's not your fault, Touya wanted to tell Shouto, it's his. But he couldn't make his voice work, or even crawl towards his little brother. His body hurt so much, and little black spots were dancing across his vision.

And then he heard the sound of a body hitting the floor outside, followed by a strangled sob, and the blistering heat of their father's quirk. He was going to hurt Shouto again, Touya realized. Every single thing he'd done had been to punish Shouto yet again. It hadn't mattered that it had been Touya who burnt the shed, that it was Touya who'd been locked in the freezer – no, everything was about the old man wanting to hurt Shouto.

Ignoring his body screaming at him, wincing with every movement, he managed to drag himself towards the door, pulling himself up along the frame. With his last strength he opened the door, and froze. Their father was hovering over his little brother, whose face was already black and blue, and raising a hand as if to strike again.

He couldn't remember what he did afterwards. Everything had been so, so very hot.

* * *

When he'd woken up the first time, he'd been in a hospital, surrounded by machines, and covered in bandages. Nothing hurt, everything hurt. He didn't know how he got here, and why everything was white. There were bandages, and he was hurt, and it burned, but it didn't, and it was so wrong. He didn't know what was going on.

The machines around him had gone off in alarm, sending a swarm of people inside, bustling all around him. With a sting in his arm, the world went black again.

The next time he woke up, Fuyumi was sitting next to his bed, reading a book out loud. When she saw that he was awake, she'd gone to call a nurse, before bursting into tears. She told him over and over again how happy she was that he was alive.

Resentment bubbled in his chest. If she had been so worried, why hadn't she helped? Why hadn't Natsuo? Why had they let Shouto do it? Why did they let their father play his sick games and do nothing?

Later on he realized that he'd actually yelled at her, even though he could have sworn that he hadn't said a single word.

* * *

After Fuyumi had been sent away for upsetting the patient – him, he was a patient... why was he upset? – the doctor's told him that he'd been sent to a special care facility that dealt with the kind of burns that he was suffering from. They promised to do their best to fix him.

There was nothing to be fixed. He was fine. The monster living inside his home was the problem, not him. As long as he was there, they'd never be okay. Nothing could be fixed as long as he lived.

When he told one of the doctors about the abuse, and that his family needed help, his father had been contacted. Within an hour he'd appeared in the hospital, telling the doctors that his son was deluded and couldn't handle that he'd attacked his younger brother in a fit of jealousy. He'd asked for a psych evaluation for his son, and implied that he was taking after his mother, and maybe, just maybe, he should be locked away for good.

As the No.2 hero their father wielded a tremendous amount of influence, and the doctors had complied with his wishes without even evaluating Touya. Before he'd been transferred his father had come to visit him, and had made it perfectly clear that, should he try to tell anyone about the training again, his siblings' and mother's lives would be – as he called it – a lot more difficult.

So he played along. Listened to the doctors, went along with the treatments, had been a good little puppet for his father. And then finally, finally, his siblings came to visit. He'd been waiting for them for so long, and now they were here. When they stepped into his room, however, his happiness disappeared. Natsuo and Fuyumi could barely look him in the eye, and Shouto... He walked right up to Touya and hugged him, before breaking down crying and apologizing.

The old bastard was still up to his old tricks. When Natsuo had taken Shouto to get some food from the vending machine, Touya apologized to Fuyumi, for his behavior the last time they met, but she told him that she understood, and there was nothing to be sorry about.

It was a sweet lie, but a lie nonetheless. He wasn't stupid, or blind, and he knew that his sister tended to be a doormat when she felt threatened. Just let people walk all over her and wait for it to pass. That wouldn't help anyone. Natsuo... whatever happened between Natsuo and their father had also affected Natsuo's relationship with his siblings. He kept to himself, Fuyumi told him, hiding in his room and studying. He was probably trying to get a scholarship and move far, far away from the mess that was their family.

Which left Shouto to be completely defenseless against their father's attention.

The thought made Touya sick. For whatever reason their father kept pretending that all his abuse was nothing but training – maybe it made it easier for the man to justify his actions – and Shouto was too young to know any better. He didn't want to know what had happened while he'd been locked away, but a part of him burned with unasked questions.

When Natsuo and Shouto came back with food, he asked Fuyumi if he could have just one moment alone with Shouto, just one. They could open the blinds to his room and watch, if they were scared for Shouto's safety.

Even though they were both hesitant, they agreed, and the minute they left, Shouto threw himself at Touya again. When he was certain no one could hear them, he whispered in Shouto's ear, asking how he'd really been, what had happened, and if he was safe. And Shouto, his naive, little brother, told him that it was okay, that Touya would be safe, because he'd protect him. Father had promised that Touya and Mom were safe as long as Shouto behaved.

It was sickening. Their father got away scot-free again, was using his own children against each other, and no one was doing anything. He was supposed to be a hero. He was supposed to be good. Why didn't anyone notice what he really was? Why was no one coming to save them?

Heroes were liars. All goody-goody for the cameras, saving people, fighting villains, but who knew what they were really like? Touya knew. But no one believed him, and he'd be locked away forever.

When his siblings left – Fuyumi with tears in her eyes, Natsuo still refusing to look him in the eyes, and Shouto promising to keep him safe – he curled up in the corner of his bed. No, that wouldn't do. He wasn't going to stay here and wait for their father to destroy his siblings. He had to get out. He'd have to wait until his injuries were healed enough to move properly, but that gave him time to come up with an escape plan.

* * *

It had taken quite some time to come up with an escape route, but most of the facility staff followed a strict pattern, and once he'd learned that, he had a way out. That left him with one problem, though. How to get away, and make his father believe that he was dead? In the end, that problem had solved itself by sheer accident.

The person in the room next to his, who'd been restrained at all times due to their suicidal tendencies, had gotten out of their room, and into his. It was very obvious that that person was completely and utterly insane, and when they noticed Touya in the room, they'd attacked him. When the doctors, who noticed that his neighbor was gone, came rushing in, the ensuing fight caused the other patient to lose control of their quirk. Within seconds his room went up in flames and the doctors and the other patient were burnt to crisp, while Touya remained almost untouched by the fire. It seemed that his own fire – much hotter and stronger than that of his neighbor's – had caused his skin to be fireproof to a certain degree, a possible side effect from when he'd pushed his quirk too far.

When the faculty had been evacuated, he'd slipped out, and disappeared into a nearby village. He was presumed to be among the victims of the fire. During nighttime he left his hiding spot and broke into a house to steal some clothes, some that didn't look like they belonged to a patient, and didn't smell of smoke.

It's not easy deciding where to go from here, he realized. He couldn't go home. Home wasn't safe. But he couldn't leave his siblings... but going home would put them in danger. He couldn't go to the authorities, he'd just be locked away again. He couldn't trust any of the heroes, because his father was one.

That didn't leave him with a lot of options, and after a few days of wandering around and stealing food, he was approached by a very strange, and very, very insane girl. From there on things progressed fast – and it was almost impossible to shake that weird girl with a disturbing interest in his scars – and before he even knew what happened, he'd become a villain. And he was good at it.

It made everything so much easier. He punished those who deserved it, focusing on abusers first and foremost, but also went after the fake heroes that turned a blind eye on his father's abuse. He remembered his father's sidekicks, and one by one they disappeared.

And no one cared. Why would they? He was only doing what was right.

Somewhere along the way he chose a new name and became Dabi. Toga, the weird girl who just wouldn't leave him alone, being the only one who knew his real name – and for whatever reason, kept his secret. One night, when they were all alone and drunk on cheap beer, she told him that she knew he wouldn't touch her like her father had, because he knew that kind of hurt – except he didn't. Their father had never gone that far. They never speak of it again, and Toga's father died in a horrible fire. A pity, really, that another upstanding member of society was killed by villains.

On another drunk night, as Toga liked to call the occasions when they got straight-up wasted, Dabi told her about his past. Not everything, never everything, but what his father had done to his siblings. How he tortured his youngest child, how he ignored his siblings, how he locked him in a freezer, how he hates the cold. At some point he lost track of what they were talking about, but Toga never questioned him, sticking closer to him instead. They had to protect each other, she told him.

It was her idea to join the League of Villains. They didn't need friends, she told him, but they could use the information the league certainly had. It was also her idea to use the league's resources to go after his father when the time was right. They might not need the league, but it had it's uses.

* * *

Of course the league decided to kidnap that Bakugou kid. Dabi couldn't bring himself to like the possible new prospect. He'd watched the brat beat up his brother, who had been so obviously, painfully holding back, and he really wanted to return the favor. Shouto might have chosen the hero path, or their father chose it for him, but he was still Dabi's brother.

He still remembered Shouto's shocked face when he'd snatched Bakugou. He'd recognized him. Even with all the scars, and piercings, and dyed hair, he still recognized him. For a moment when he looked at him, all he could see was the little brat who promised he'd behave to keep him safe.

But there was no way for him to keep his idiot brother safe when he decided to rescue the brat. He'd learned about it from Shigaraki. And it really, really made him want to grab his brother and shake him.

It was obvious that their father was still influencing his brother.

However... if their father was gone, they'd all be free. Shouto could come with him, maybe Fuyumi and Natsuo too. They could all be free. They could re-shape society with the league. All he needed to was get rid of their father.

* * *

Somehow he managed to get Shigaraki to give him control over some Noumu to cause some chaos. After All Might's... retirement, they had been attacking heroes all over Japan, seemingly without rhyme or reason. The truth was simple information gathering, figure out heroes' strength and weaknesses.

When all was said and done, and his bastard father had become No.1 hero, he'd approached Shigaraki again. This time to ask for a special Noumu, one that he could use to destroy his father. Of course Shigaraki didn't know that Dabi was Endeavor's son, he'd never trust that crazy monster with that kind of information. Still Shigaraki agreed.

He'd gone over the plan with Toga several times. She'd been so excited that Dabi had managed to get a new Noumu to play with, and was even more excited about being able to meet the family – she had made him swear up and down that they'd retrieve his siblings as soon as the old bastard was dead, set on the idea that they were family and would understand. If they didn't, she'd help them. Shouto would understand, Dabi knew, but his stupidly heroic brother would have a hard time accepting that he'd be better off as a villain.

That was alright though. They had time. Once he'd killed their father, they could be together again.

* * *

It had been so close, so incredibly close, and yet somehow his father had survived. The nerve of that man. Couldn't he at least have the decency to die like he was supposed to? Did he have to turn it around and make a show of his "heroic" behavior?

The only comfort was that the man had been severely injured, and that meant that Dabi could sneak in and kill him. It wasn't the way he wanted to do it. No, he'd wanted him humiliated in front of a million people. He wanted to expose all his secrets. He wanted make him disappear without a trace and just vanish from Hero history. He wanted so many things.

He could still make it work.

After all, he already knew how to get in and out of hospitals. It would be so easy.

* * *

When he got there Shouto was there, waiting for him, examining him.

"I thought you were dead." Five words it all it took to stop Dabi. "I missed you."

It would be so simple to turn back, to reach for his brother and leave together. If he asked, Shouto would follow. He had no doubt. He would. They were brothers.

"You're going to try to kill him." Shouto said. A statement, not a question. "I'm going to warn him."

With that Shouto turned on his heel and left, leaving Dabi frozen on the spot.

He said he'd warn him. Not "don't hurt him". Not "don't kill him". Not "I'll protect him". But "I'll warn him". So he wouldn't have to feel bad, because he warned him. Dabi could kill him, and Shouto wouldn't have to feel guilty, because he'd warned their father.

Sometimes he wondered, why he hadn't just come back and taken his siblings with him before he joined the league.

There was still time, he thought as he entered the hospital. He'd take care of father, and then he'd bring Shouto home, where Toga was already waiting. And then, they could go and pick up their siblings together.

All he needed to do was get rid of Endeavor.


End file.
